A few nights ago I sat on a friend’s front porch, nursing my drink and amusedly watching at least one of them smoke a cigar. Our conversation meandered here and there, but eventually struck a notable point when the married one directed at another:
You know, you will probably not have sex on your wedding night. Your wife will be far too tight.
While this was hilarious largely due to the person he was talking to [and his particular stance on women/relationships], it stuck with me because of the assumptions that were present in the statement.
As a Christian who would like to one day be married, what are my options? Attending a Christian college certainly helps, and the aforementioned question explains why we have the terms “ring by spring” and “getting my MRS.” There’s a pervasive feeling that there’s only so much time to find that special someone, and once you’re out in the real world your search multiplies in difficulty.
There is a culture of Christian young people, and as young people their search for that significant other is constantly manifesting itself. Bible studies for those in high school, colleges and careers groups for those a little bit older, both become hunting grounds for eligible dudes/ladies. A friend of mine, when talking about her church’s young adult group, related that the guys there basically gauged the dateability of every girl there before waiting around for new members.
This reveals a lot about world views, the Christian, and, by reversing this view, the non-Christian. In one there is the expectation to stay pure and for your future spouse to do the same. In the other the assumption is that the person you will marry will have had sexual partners [though hopefully not too many]. The former is plagued by the fear that they may not find the one. The latter suffers the same phobia, yet finds itself with quite a few more options.
I haven’t done the math, so I can’t tell you with complete certainty that Christians are searching more desperately than their peers of alternate beliefs. I can, however, tell you that I can definitely wait a few more years before marriage becomes something I seriously think about. But I can’t speak for anyone else.