Today’s post comes to you on what is perhaps one of my most favorite days of the year: May Day.
No, not that one-
There we go.
That’s right comrades, pinkos, and fellow travelers! Today’s post marks not only the celebration of revolution and the working class across the globe but further touches off the first annual month-of-May celebration of all things leftist!
At least on my end of things. Until Evan brings the hammer down on me. But until then– arise ye workers from your slumber!
Now yours truly is something of a socialist Scrooge. I’m pretty much dead-set against the celebration of any holiday.
Easter and Christmas? Bah- religious observances twisted into grotesque displays by the infection of Capitalism. Thanksgiving? Columbus Day? Milestones of bloody colonial imperialism and genocide! Heck, even birthdays are just random events to get you to part with your hard earned cash.
I am not a pleasant person.
I’m not exactly the biggest fan of simple tradition either. I distinctly remember the one-child protest I staged when my parents starting to implement advent in our household.
All that’s just to say that when I declare May Day as a day worth celebrating, you’d better it’s ****ing special. Let me break it down for you here.
It’s A Rare Show of Solidarity
With the exception of Christmas, I don’t think I know of a holiday celebrated as universally as May Day. We’re talking about a true demonstration of unity, with marches and demonstrations taking place everywhere on the planet, from Paris…
…To Ankara…
…To Jakarta…
…To Athens…
…To Lagos…
We’re not talking about a collective day of binge-eating or lining the pockets of billionaires. We’re talking about a day simple devoted to poor, refugee, marginalized, and working class people across the globe getting together and voicing a single cry of outrage and hope. In a world so divided on ethnic, racial, national, religious, and political boundaries, this day’s celebrations are a rare, if not the single, instance of us all coming together and declaring that there are things greater than these petty divisions. And if that doesn’t seize your attention, maybe this will:
It’s A Chance To Speak Out
We could talk about the unity May Day offers until the cows come home (or the foundations of our corrupt society erode away), but one of my favorite part of the rallies is simply scanning the seas of red-and-black for banners highlighting specific issues. Declarations of support for freedom fighters. Condemnations of specific politicians. Demands for the rectification of injustices. Calls for change on every conceivable level- environmental, financial, even spiritual and psychological.
What other holiday lets you do something like this? What other tradition celebrates your right to march and speak and fight for what you believe in?
Better than all that though…
It’s A Chance To Act Out
It’s a holiday that has to do with action, rather than remembrance. As a great man once said, the point isn’t to interpret the world, it’s to change it. May Day is not a day for quiet reflection, it’s a day for action in every nation in the world.
If you want to contemplate freedom over hamburgers, you’ve got the 4th of July. If you want to meditate on peace on earth and goodwill towards all men, you’ve got Christmas. If you want to do something to further the cause of freedom, peace, and human brotherhood, then you’ve got May Day. And while you might wonder what difference it could possibly make, rest assured- there’s little more terrifying to the powers that be than the great angry masses acting in unison. It’s true even in our own country. In 2013, Obama took time out of his busy wedding-bombing schedule to re-purpose May Day as- I kid you not- “Loyalty Day“. Because he’s subtle like that.
Obama: If Lyndon B Johnson and George Bush had a baby that was raised by Nixon.
But today is a happy day- so the less about the president, the better.
So strap on your boots, grab yourself a flag or a picket-sign and let’s get out there and make some noise.
Happy May Day, one and all!
Culture War Reporters 
I legitimately have no understanding of why you try to assert to our readers that I have any problem with you writing about/covering your own political beliefs, the vast majority of which I agree with.