EVAN: Rooooooooooxaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnne!
Ladies, gentlemen, and others, Gordon and I have come together today to discuss, you guessed it, The Police. You could argue that there are other greater bands from the late 70s, but you would be wrong.
GORDON: I’d like to start off right now with a story about a recent experience I had with the police, if I may-
EVAN: By all means. What was Sting like in person?
GORDON: I wouldn’t know- I only heard ’em screaming at my next door neighbor through the door.

See, readers, I live in what nobody would describe as “good neighborhood”. It’s certainly not as bad as some places, but it’s definitely not a place that anyone wants to be.
In fact, the police shaking down my neighbor for one of his “Known Associates” stated just that. To quote one of ’em “I f-cking hate this [apartment] complex.”
Needless to say, it didn’t exactly inspire confidence within me that if I ever needed help, the boys-in-blue would have my back… Continue reading
