Tag Archives: Culture War Correspondence

In This Specific Context You Can Blame the French

So Kat is abroad in la belle province [that’s “the beautiful province” for all you non-Francophones], doing a program that explicitly states that she communicate solely in French. While she is planning to do her Saturday posts first in English before translating them, it has occurred to me that Culture War Correspondence posts probably don’t work all that well. I mean, while I can’t speak for Gordon, I only know so much French [“un petit peu”].

Which left me wondering whether or not to shut down the feature while she stays in Quebec.

Wonderful gif of Shakira’s indecision aside, this post probably tells you all you need to know about the continuation of this feature, for the time being. Gordon and I will be discussing what will take its place, but rest assured that come next Wednesday there’ll be something new hereabouts.

I really wish I had peppered this with more French, but two semesters of college classes will only get you so far. What I can share with you is that in French they don’t say “shut up!”. They say “ta gueule!” which roughly translates to “your gob!” and I think that’s beautiful.

Oh, and stay tuned for my review of Ms. Marvel #6, which goes up as soon as my comic book shop opens and I can grab my copy.

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Culture War Correspondence: Being Canadian

EVAN: I was going to start off this introduction with a whole slew of Canadian stereotypes, complete with obnoxious faux-Canadian-written-accent, but let’s be honest, my inexperience with all such things is what originally made me opt for this topic in the first place.

This commercial should help fill in a few blanks, though.

It should be no secret to many of you that Kat hails from the Great White North, and while I myself was born there I’ve spent much of my life abroad. In today’s discussion our goal is to work through some of what it means to count oneself a Canuck.

KAT: This will be no easy task, since in our two corners of the country Evan and I are both closer to the States than we are to each other. Does Canada even have a distinct culture? Or are we like one massive tumour growing onto American pop culture?

Why don’t we start by spitballing some of the things we both tell people about when describing our “home and native land”? Continue reading

Culture War Correspondence: Are Animals People Too?

GORDON: Ladies, gentlemen, and yes, even dolphins and certain species of ape- we’re considering bestowing upon you honorary personhood, despite the poo flinging.

The topic of the day is animal rights- how far is not enough?

EVAN: This topic was brought up by reader/friend Stew, presumably due to recent happenings regarding legal action taken to protect the rights of animals with higher-order cognitive abilities [great apes, certain cetaceans, elephants, African grey parrots].

Not animal rights, though. Actual human rights.

GORDON: Exactly how that’d work with free speech is kinda lost on me, though we’d be able to apply bear arms in a new sense.

And before everyone jumps on me for using that pun, hear me out-

We’re happy to bestow these rights on animals with high reasoning abilities- but would they do the same for us? I don’t want to play devil’s advocate right out of the gate, but there seems to be a fundamental difference in human understanding of rights and the views of dolphins and monkeys, both of whom not only kill without much thought or grief, but have been recorded performing sexual attacks (ok, not dolphins, it turns out) and flippin’ genocide on members of their own species.

Yep, genocide.

Continue reading

Culture War Correspondence: Circumcision

KAT: Greetings girls and boys, today Gordon and I are here to discuss something that I have no personal experience with…: circumcision.

Kitten gifs- because, I’m not going to search for any circumcision-related images.

GORDON: That makes two of us then…

KAT: Circumcision is one of those things that seems to be pretty common here in North America (Gordon aside), but do we really know why it is still common when in places like Europe (for example) few men are circumcised?

Since you’ve already shared your lack of experience with us Gordon, would you mind me asking why your parents chose to forgo the knife?

GORDON: I’m not entirely sure. I avoid discussion my genitals with my parents, but then again, I’m eccentric like that. Continue reading

Culture War Correspondence: Healthy Living

EVAN: Tired of getting sand kicked in your face and being humiliated in front of your significant other? Well now’s the time to put down that Twinkie hambuger you’re eating [it’s just a Twinkie sandwiched in between two other Twinkies, you animal] and tune in to our discussion for today: being healthy.

Now Gordon and yours truly are both men in their early twenties, and we’re here to talk to each other and you about what it means to stay in relatively good shape, and if we’re even doing that to begin with.

GORDON: This certainly isn’t the first time we’ve covered the general topic of health- smoking, drinking, and obesity are all issues we’ve covered in the past. What really makes this one interesting, I think, is that we’re approaching it more from the angle of health, rather than health hazards. Continue reading

Culture War Correspondence: Cultural Sensitivity

GORDON: Ladies and Gentlemen, good evening. Our topic for tonight comes to us from the distant country of Sri Lanka, where a British woman has been deported for transgressing local standards of cultural and religious sensitivity… as a result of having a tattoo of Buddha on her arm…


KAT: Wow. Remind me to get my tattoo removed.

GORDON: You sport the Buddha on yourself?

KAT: Nah, it’s all just wishful thinking. I’m far too broke to have any ink.

(On textbooks)

Continue reading

Culture War Correspondence: Superman and Superheroes

GORDON: Up there! In the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…! It’s…!

It’s a cheesy rehash of the same joke we closed out on last time!

EVAN: How dare you, sir.

GORDON: Citizens, today our topic of discussion is Superman, and to a lesser extent, superheroes in general- though you could hardly go wrong to kick off a discussion on the subject by starting with the Big Blue Boy Scout.

Who, for the record, I despise. Continue reading