2 Broke Girls, S4E7 “And a Loan for Christmas”: A TV Review

Can you imagine if all TV shows handled their midseason finales the same way The Walking Dead does? Which beloved character would we create petitions to resurrect? Would the Williamsburg Diner be short a staff member or lose their most valued customer? Honestly, just thinking about it makes me wish it would happen, if only to really mix things up.

“And a Loan for Christmas” is a direct sequel to last-last week’s episode, “And the Brand Job”. To save you the time of watching it for yourself, or even reading the review, that installment of Max and Caroline’s wacky adventures concerned their respective business plans, with the former’s coming to life in the cold open: snarkily decorated cupcakes and t-shirts are on full display. What’s more, these new wares are doing great [no surprise, really]. So great, in fact, that there’s talk of acquiring some capital, because you need to spend money to make money-

– and I want to stop you [and Caroline] right there and be upfront with you all: I don’t know a lot about finances.

Honestly, I straight up don’t understand how taxes work. I don’t even know how to use my credit card to pay things when I’m not purchasing stuff online. I can do math just fine, but once you apply it to actual dollars and cents and the way the real world handles such things you have completely lost me. All that being said I just can’t wrap my head around why they need a whole ten Gs.

Obviously, as Caroline shares, having the t-shirts made in bulk will cut down on costs, but surely that could be done with less than half that amount. Considering the profit margins on t-shirts [pretty high] they would be making back much more than the cost of said apparel, so why borrow so much? Honestly I’m hoping someone with more business savvy will explain this to me, because Ms. Channing went to Wharton and I want to believe she knows what she’s talking about.

Anyway. What happens is that Max and Caroline enter the latter’s “childhood overpriced clothing store” and, after asking Barry, the gay Asian presumed owner of the establishment, if he’ll purchase their design only to be rejected, do exactly what I expected them to do-

-which of course results in someone spying their shirt and just loving it [and resulting in my favourite line reading of the entire episode, see the Stray Observations]. Obviously Barry [Nico Santos, for those interested] must have more shirts, as he sells the first for $300, and so now the girls really need to get them made and fast.

Their solution, since the one-day shirt company they were relying on falls through, is to have Han print screen them himself since he’s apparently artistic, and that just straight-up blows my mind. Okay, do you see these shirts?

That’s four colours at least. That’s four different layers that would need to be print screened on top of one another to create the cupcake image, and that’s not even including the words on the back [which use the Cooper Black font, if I’m not mistaken]! I’m surprised that it took Han two hours to make a single tee, since I assume he had to create the print screens from scratch.

Anyway, sorry. Their solution comes in the form of Sophie, who implores that everyone present [which includes Oleg] join in to help them finish their shirts provided that they also partake in her Christmas decoration rivalry with another Eastern European woman.

To backtrack really quickly back to my discussing finances, the episodes does end with them taking out a business loan to the tune of 100 Benjamins AKA $1,000 USD. Consider that Barry is selling the shirts for $300 and that, according to Caroline, they make $25. Shouldn’t the fact that they’re the original designers afford them a cut that’s a little higher than 1/12? I guess I know just about as much about fashion as I do math.

The episode ends with Max and Caroline holding each others’ arms, staring at their shirt standing in Barry’s hip clothing boutique-

-and it’s pretty schmaltzy, what with the instrumental Christmas music and the applause of the studio audience, but what really hit me was the exchange the two women had. In response to Caroline’s apology that she didn’t get her anything, Max responds with “You go me everything, look.” Surely enough it was the ex-wealthy blonde’s push that brought them to where they are today with their cupcake business which I suppose is now a t-shirt business. I suppose the question remains, as it always has, what next?

Will Max and Caroline continue supplying shirts to Barry? Will he join the cast, bringing the grand total of effeminate Asian characters up to two? Will their money woes finally cease, their newfound financial stability leading them to change the show’s title to 2 Lower Middle Class Girls? I’ve basically sworn to review this show until it screeches to a halt, but I’d love to know where this train is headed.

Current Total: $3,195.

New Total: $3,945. Surprisingly enough, this makes total sense this episode, barring its exclusion of the loan they took out. 30 shirts to Barry multiplied by $25 per equals $750.

The Title Refers To: It’s Christmas and they took out a loan.

Stray Observations:

• “Christmas is like herpes: no matter what you do you flair up once a year.”
• Max’s cupcake greetings: “Feliz He’s Not Your Dad”, “Joint To The World”, “Frosty With No Man”.
• “Earl, change please. A phrase I heard from both my ex-wives.”
• Their shirts are apparently “the perfect gift for a girl you’re not in love with just strictly banging.”
• Han’s chainsaw sound/action is the best.
• “Follow me.” / “Okay, sure. But not on Instagram because you’re out of control.”
• “You need to jump on those Wang pumps or like Ben Affleck they will be gone, girl.”
• I get that creator/producer Michael Patrick King isn’t offended by the show’s gay humour [as he is gay himself], but Max jokes about Barry “coming with strangers” and it all seems unnecessary and gross.
• Best Line Delivery: the rich lady eyeing their shirt deadpans, “So Cute. And look on the back, ‘cream-filled’. Funny. People will think I have a personality.”
• Lot of very specific pop culture references in this episode, with Han defending his handiwork: “It’s a masterpiece. You want one Citizen Kane or 30 Here Comes the Boom‘s?”
• “I’m just so happy I have new clothes!” Beth Behrs you are a treasure.
• “Alright, who am I again? Voltron?
• Maybe It’s Maxoline: They are holding each other at the episode’s end, but it is pretty platonic-like.
• 2 Broke Girls Cheesecake Menu: Sophie’s got some cleave going on as the “not-so-virgin Mary”. That is all.

This is the last 2 Broke Girls episode of 2014, and thus my last review for the time being as well. Come back in January when things start up again, and maybe stick around the site and check out what else we did this year. Gordon’s look back at the pat 12 months is a great place to start.