It has been 51 days since Drumpf became president, and I lock the door to my apartment for the final time. It’s a cold day in March, but even my thick coat raises eyebrows as I arrive at the station.
They say Mussolini made the trains run on time, but I’m guessing the strange intricacies that seem to govern the Greyhound buses would’ve sent tears running down the fat, doughy face of the Italian despot. My ticket reads 5:30 to Chicago, No. 302, but the sun is already starting to rise over the desert. All the seats have been taken. I find myself a free spot of ground beneath a leering poster of the president. The bitter morning wind, reeking of diesel fumes and cigarette ash, sends loose papers skittering across the concrete. Discarded ticket stubs, crumpled receipts- a single page that looks like it may have come from some shoolboy’s essay. All decadent, unpatriotic schools have been replaced with Drumpf Universities, where we are to be re-educated to stop thinking like “bimbos” and “losers.”
An hour passes, and the guards return- weak, winter sunlight glittering off of their glossy, golden uniforms. They have proper haircuts- as we all do now. Aryan blonde, brushed forward to cover the parts of our head that absolutely aren’t balding. Any illicit hairstyles will earn you and your barber 80 lashings. They takes measurements our hands, to ensure their proper size. They search my belongings. I’ve prepared for this. Just enough clothes for a three day trip. No money. No passport. Just my mandatory certificate proving native birth and authorized religious beliefs. My papers say that I am going to Houghton to visit a sick friend. I am lucky that I already have documents that show I went to college there- at least, to the Houghton in New York. I do not think I could have afforded to have all my papers forged. Continue reading
Posted in America, bizarreness, Canada, Europe, Islam, morality, news, politics, religion
Tagged America, bigotry, Canada, Daesh, Donald Drumpf, Drumpf, Europe, Immigrants, immigration, ISIS, Islam, Islamophobia, Migrants, news, racism, refugees, satire, Trump, Violence
Well readers, it’s that time of year again. Mildewed jack-o’-lanterns are being unceremoniously swept away from doorsteps as families hang lights and holly around their homes. Carols are beginning to play in stores across the nation and cheery folks, bundled up in their coats, are already beginning to make their lists. The elves and reindeer aren’t waiting for December and so, readers, neither shall I. And let me kick off the holidays here at Culture War Reporters by declaring this:
I hate Christmas.
Generally speaking, I always have.
And my family did celebrate the holidays, with my parents (who make Buddy the Elf look like Ebenezer Scrooge) even making a few luckless attempts at getting me to celebrate advent as well.
I’d say that my mom isn’t as bad, but her holiday tradition is- I make no exaggeration- screaming “IT’S # DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS!” at the top of her lungs.
But for all the zeal my parents had I was generally free from the hustle and bustle of the season. One of the benefits of growing up in the middle of a primarily Muslim country is that one isn’t generally blasted with “Carol of the Bells” until one is prepared to put a drill to one’s head.
Coming to America, that was something I had difficulty adjusting to, to put things mildly. But that’s not the issue I have- not entirely anyways.
It was the expectation. Continue reading
Posted in America, bizarreness, Christianity, design, film, media, morality, music, religion
Tagged carol, celebration, Christian, Christianity, Christmas, Christmas with the Kranks, Commercialization, cups, design, elf, Europe, holiday, Jesus, Joshua Feuerstein, non-Christian, Pagan, season, secular, snow, Starbucks, The Family Man, The Santa Clause, tradition, War on Christmas
Did you know that in a few days, Scotland will vote on becoming an independent nation?
On the 18th of this month, Scots will be flocking to polling stations to vote either “yes” or “no” on becoming a self-governed country, joining in the movement with many areas of Europe, currently campaigning for self-determination (though barring the Catalonians, Scotland’s probably the closest any have yet gotten).
And may that day yet come…
So is this a good thing? We here at CWR say yes. Continue reading
Posted in Economy, environmentalism, Europe, government, health, history, money, news, politics
Tagged age, bigotry, BNP, citizenship, EDL, ethnocentrism, Europe, fracking, freedom, GCHQ, healtchare, independence, Indyref, loch lomond, Military, missile, Nationalism, NHS, no, NSA, nuclear, pension, pensioner, poverty, proposal, racism, Referendum, scotland, Scottish, September 18, SNP, spending, taxes, trident, UKIP, vote, weapons, Yes
I’m sticking with this topic because I was asked, somewhat indirectly, to cover the tactics Hamas has been using. I don’t think I can do that without sounding like an apologist for Hamas- which I’m not a fan of, in spite of my constant proclamations of solidarity with the struggle of Gaza. Still, I wanted to deliver on some level, and the more I thought about it, the more I found myself returning to a quote of JFK’s- that “those who make peaceful protest impossible make violent protest inevitable.”
Whenever any conflict flares up enough in Palestine for the West to take notice, we’re inevitably going to encounter the idea that the Palestinians are to be blamed for not using “peaceful protest”. Such comments usually come from folks who can’t deny the plight of Palestinians but who can’t yet bring themselves to actually take a stand for them- but we’ll get to that in a minute.
At times like these, we tend to cite our own “peaceful protests”, conveniently only talking about the white-washed portions of it. We’ll talk about MLK Jr. all day long, and forget that even such “nonviolent” civil rights luminaries as Fannie Lou Hamer kept herself armed to the teeth. Heck, Hamer herself declared “I keep a shotgun in every corner of my bedroom and the first cracker even look like he wants to throw some dynamite on my porch won’t write his mama again.”
Yes indeed. And only one of many such examples within the “non-violent” movements of the 50s and 60s.
Posted in media, morality, news, politics
Tagged Al Haq, Arms, Budrus, Canada, Christian ZIonism, Europe, Gaza, lobby, MLK Jr. Fannie Lou Hamer, nonviolent, organization, pacifist, palestine, palestinian, Palestinians, peaceful, peaceful protest, Protest, Shawan Jabarin, Shin Bet, US, village, Violence, west, West Bank, zionism
KAT: Greetings girls and boys, today Gordon and I are here to discuss something that I have no personal experience with…: circumcision.
Kitten gifs- because, I’m not going to search for any circumcision-related images.
GORDON: That makes two of us then…
KAT: Circumcision is one of those things that seems to be pretty common here in North America (Gordon aside), but do we really know why it is still common when in places like Europe (for example) few men are circumcised?
Since you’ve already shared your lack of experience with us Gordon, would you mind me asking why your parents chose to forgo the knife?
GORDON: I’m not entirely sure. I avoid discussion my genitals with my parents, but then again, I’m eccentric like that. Continue reading
Posted in Africa, America, bizarreness, Canada, Culture War Correspondence, Europe, government, health, religion
Tagged Africa, America, Anti-Circumcision, Canada, circumcision, Culture War Correspondence, Europe, female genital mutilation, FGM, germany, health, HIV, jewish, Judaism, law, Medical, middle-east, myth, religion, tradition