I wore a purity ring throughout my teens. It was pretty easy to honour the contract I associated with that ring because I only dated once during that time and pretty well never saw my boyfriend outside of a group setting.
When I started having more complex relationships in my 20’s I suddenly began to realize that “purity” was a more complex idea than I first thought. At what point was I “giving myself away”? Did I need to Kiss Dating Goodbye if I wanted to hold to this contract ( a topic Evan has touched on in previous posts)? Or did I just push the line as far as I could, as long as I could “technically” tell people I was still a virgin (a practice Elisa critiqued in a past post)?
As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to a couple different conclusions about the purity culture trend than what I first believed. I don’t want to make it seem like all sexual restraint needs to be thrown out the window. I do, however, want to take a look at some unpleasant consequences of the purity movement, and consider why they came about.
Posted in Christianity, morality, religion, sex
Tagged abortion, adultery, American, birth control, Canadian, conservative, dating, discipline, emotions, faith, female, French, girl, guy, How Christian Purity Culture Enabled My Step Dad to Sexually Abuse Me, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Jesus, Jesus Christ, liberal, love, Lynn Beisner, male, marriage, Men, modesty, physical, porn, pornography, prostitutes, purity, purity ball, purity myth, purity ring, sex, sexual abuse, sexual restraint, sexuality, sexually transmitted infection, sin, sinners, slut-shaming, STI, teen pregnancy, teenager, temptation, true love waits, virginity, women
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. There’s, uh, hugging, obviously, and holding hands . . . there’s hanging out and talking of course . . . I can, uh, tell you that I love you, that seems pretty straightforward . . . write you some poetry, maybe? I feel like that’s probably a pretty good list already.
Oh, uh, kissing? Well, uh . . .
Maybe back when I was 15-years-old or so I decided, purely on a whim, to not kiss until I knew I was going to marry the person I was locking lips with, while I was casually talking on the phone with my then-girlfriend. A decision that could, in all likelihood, lead to something more or less like this:
Posted in bizarreness, Christianity, morality, relationships, religion, sex, Youth
Tagged base, Christian, Christianity, dating, engagement, first kiss, intimacy, kiss, kissing, make out, marriage, osculation, personal, physical, premarital, purity, relationship, romantic, sex, sin, smooch, snog, temptation, Valentine's Day post, virgin, wedding day