Tag Archives: virginity

The Problem with Purity (When Christian Values Distract from the Message)

I wore a purity ring throughout my teens. It was pretty easy to honour the contract I associated with that ring because I only dated once during that time and pretty well never saw my boyfriend outside of a group setting.

When I started having more complex relationships in my 20’s I suddenly began to realize that “purity” was a more complex idea than I first thought. At what point was I “giving myself away”? Did I need to Kiss Dating Goodbye if I wanted to hold to this contract ( a topic Evan has touched on in previous posts)? Or did I just push the line as far as I could, as long as I could “technically” tell people I was still a virgin (a practice Elisa critiqued in a past post)?

As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to a couple different conclusions about the purity culture trend than what I first believed. I don’t want to make it seem like all sexual restraint needs to be thrown out the window. I do, however, want to take a look at some unpleasant consequences of the purity movement, and consider why they came about.

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2 Things Boys Need To Know About Their Sexuality

1. Don’t Rape

Without wasting any time here, the first is obvious, and I’ve written about it a lot. Whether it’s about the way we use the word daily or what has said about it in rap music, I’ve scrutinized the act because of how incredibly damaging it can be, how frequently it happens, and the attitude many have towards it.

I was linked to the following video via a gifset on imgur, and while I’m not a person who knows a great deal about slam poetry, this is well-worth the watch:

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The Virgin Diaries: A Book Review

“What does it feel like to lose your virginity?” This is a question asked in red font, all-caps, at the top of the back cover. This is also a question that I can confidently say The Virgin Diaries answers. With the  stories of 72 men and women and their respective first-time sexual experiences, this is a book that provides several dozen responses.

Edited and compiled by mother/daughter writing team Kimberly A. Johnson and Ann Werner, The Virgin Diaries is made up of stories that span a number of decades. To gather this information anonymous questionnaires were sent out, with the expectation that they be answered in a story format. While the authors of these stories make themselves distinct from one another through their voices, the way in which questions were asked definitely has an impact on how narratives were told and, consequently, how they read. Continue reading