I started writing for the blog a little before I got married. Around the time of my anniversary each year, I’ve written a post about my married experience. For my first anniversary I shared “4 Things I Didn’t Expect” (about marriage) and last year I gave you “4 Reasons Why Marriage is Worth the Risk (Even in the Age of Ashley Madison)“. This year I was thinking about what sort of married life wisdom I could share with you, and the only thing that came to mind was advice that older and wiser people had told me. So, as my third wedding anniversary approaches (next month) I’ve decided to share the three best pieces of advice I’ve received during my marriage.
1. Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)
I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to my relationships. I think that discussing an issue can allow you to unearth the deeper problem and talking things out can keep you from feeling resentment. By the time I got married I had also heard and/or read one piece of marriage advice over and over again: don’t go to bed angry.
I’m glad someone told me to cast that advice aside.
Instead, they suggested that sometimes we really should go to bed angry. Because sometimes, even the best of us want to strangle our partner for a reason that will seem pretty silly the next day. Often, by postponing that impulse to vent your irritation, you can avoid making an argument out of something that doesn’t really matter.
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Posted in relationships
Tagged advice, angry, anniversary, annoying, best, best friend, better, blog, boss, busyness, children, cliche, cry, deeper, disrespected, disrespectful, easier, feminism, Feminist, fight, fighter, finances, fun, future, go to bed angry, harden, Hurt, husband, impulse, irritation, laugh, laughter, learn, lessons, life, lifestyle, Looking, lucky, marriage, married, monotony, obnoxious, older, partner, partnership, problems, promise, relationships, resentment, snap, stern, strangle, strength, stress, strong, student, suggested, surprised, Time, tone, voice, vulnerability, vulnerable, weak, wife, wisdom, wiser, work
John and I moved back to Victoria at the beginning of September. I didn’t bother calling about internet set-up until we arrived. I figured it couldn’t be that long of a wait.
I was wrong, so very wrong.
Apparently, when all the students of Victoria are trying to hook up their internet, the wait can actually be quite long. Nearly three weeks long, to be exact. In those three weeks I learned a few things about myself. Since today is our first day with internet in our new place, I thought I would share what I learned with you.
1. It’s Easy to Fall Behind Without Home Internet
It’s not like the internet was completely gone from my life for the last few weeks. I could still walk to a coffee shop or stay late at school if necessary. Unfortunately, since school started the same week we arrived, I almost only sought out internet when I needed to do some homework. It’s been particularly difficult to keep on top of my readings, since the majority of them have been online so far. I’ve spent several full days camped out at the nearby coffee shop just trying to stay on top of them. Then, this past week, I got sick.
Angrily, I continued to drag myself to the coffee shop in my pyjamas to finish my homework before they closed at 6 pm.
I’m an adult, and I have my own laptop that I can bring with me. As inconvenient as it is, lacking internet doesn’t actually prevent me from doing my homework. However, for a lot of young people without home internet it’s incredibly hard to keep up with their studies without home internet. This problem is sometimes referred to as the digital divide or the homework gap and generally tends to affect low-income households.
These numbers are based on an American study. You can find information about the digital divide in Canada by clicking here.
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Posted in internet, media, technology
Tagged back to school, coffee shop, computer, cry, digital, Digital Divide, Facebook, fall behind, frustrating, home internet, homework gap, Instagram, internet, internet access, online, read, reading, sick, Snapchat
I used to cry a lot as a kid. A lot. I had all the feels and I didn’t know what to do with them.
I was also a pretty uncoordinated kid. I mean, nothing spectacular (I only broke a couple bones), but enough to make me suck at the only thing that mattered in elementary school: winning stuff. Being stuck as “it” for hours at a time in grounders or tag really gets the spirit low, so, as you might expect, I spent a lot of recesses crying.
My mom loves to tell this one story from back when she worked at my school. She had been helping a friend of mine with her homework one day and when this friend became frustrated she had reminded her that “Some people are good at spelling, some people are good at sports, etc. Everyone has something that they are good at, and everybody has something we need to work on.”
Later that day, I came dead last in a race (my mom likes to emphasize this part when she tells the story, often repeating herself with “and I mean dead last“). Anyways, after coming dead last in this race I retreated to a distance to cry my eyes out. This same friend of mine came over and put her arm around me. Then she started to tell me “You know Katherine, some people are good at spelling, some people are good at sports…”
You get the gist of it. I used to cry a lot. Then, one day on the playground, a kid called me a “cry-baby”. I don’t remember who it was, but I remember clenching my fists and swearing to myself “I will never cry again!” Continue reading →
Posted in feminism
Tagged cry, Danielle Debarbarac, emotional, emotions, failure, feeling, feminine, feminism, Feminist, gender, gender roles, girly-girl, Men, role models, Sarah Connor, sensitive, sensitivity, stoic, strong, Taken, tears, tough, weak, women, Zooey Dechanel
I love getting lost into the world of a book. You know how it is when you can’t handle taking a bathroom break or stopping to eat lunch because it might mean tearing your eyes away from the page? Luckily, as an English major, reading is a big part of my learning experience. Not every book I’ve been assigned to read has been my style, but some of those books have been so good that they sucked me deep into the story until the next things I knew, tears were streaming down my cheeks.
For the sake of this article, I won’t be focusing on all the books I’ve read over the past year. If you want to read a fantastic overview of a wide span of books, I suggest you check out Evan’s 2014 Literary Awards. Instead, I want to share the last three books that made me cry, and, more importantly, I want to discuss the larger issues that make each of these three books valuable reads.
Each of these novels engages with what it means to live in a post-colonial world. In each story, it quickly becomes apparent that the horrors of colonization do not simply end the moment government policy changes.
While I will avoid any key plot points in these books, I will be alluding to general context around the books. If you prefer to go into your reading experience with a blank slate, I should warn you, Spoiler-ish content below.
Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
Generally regarded as the post-colonial prequel to Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea opens in Jamaica, shortly after the abolition of slavery. Rhys’ protagonist, Antoinette, comes from a family of plantation owners who were brought to financial ruin by abolition. As a child, Antoinette struggles to understand what separates her family from the rising class of British capitalists.
By writing from the perspective of a child on the wrong side of history, Rhys prevents any oversimplification of her narrative. She also challenges the idea that colonial injustice somehow ended when slavery did.
Rhys’ strong narrative style creates a story that will immediately pull you in, but her imagery and carefully thought-through word choices create layers of meaning that make this novel much more complicated than it appears at first read. While it initially seems to be a Gothic Romance, Wide Sargasso Sea also explores a variety of important questions around race and gender. Continue reading →
Posted in history, literature
Tagged Antoinette, author, british, British Columbia, Canada, capitalism, Charlotte Bronte, cry, David Lurie, disgrace, Eden Robinson, english, Haisla, Heiltsuk, J.M. Coetzee, Jamaica, jane eyre, Jean Rhys, Kitimaat, Lisamarie Hill, literature, Monkey Beach, narrative, reader, Rochester, slavery, south africa, Truth and Reconciliation Commission, university, Wide Sargasso Sea