Tag Archives: strength

The 3 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received in 3 Years of Marriage

I started writing for the blog a little before I got married. Around the time of my anniversary each year, I’ve written a post about my married experience. For my first anniversary I shared “4 Things I Didn’t Expect” (about marriage) and last year I gave you “4 Reasons Why Marriage is Worth the Risk (Even in the Age of Ashley Madison)“. This year I was thinking about what sort of married life wisdom I could share with you, and the only thing that came to mind was advice that older and wiser people had told me. So, as my third wedding anniversary approaches (next month) I’ve decided to share the three best pieces of advice I’ve received during my marriage.

1. Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)

I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to my relationships. I think that discussing an issue can allow you to unearth the deeper problem and talking things out can keep you from feeling resentment. By the time I got married I had also heard and/or read one piece of marriage advice over and over again: don’t go to bed angry.

I’m glad someone told me to cast that advice aside.

Instead, they suggested that sometimes we really should go to bed angry. Because sometimes, even the best of us want to strangle our partner for a reason that will seem pretty silly the next day. Often, by postponing that impulse to vent your irritation, you can avoid making an argument out of something that doesn’t really matter.

nevermind-man-gif Continue reading

In Defense of the Warrior-Princess

Last Wednesday, Kat gave us a post titled “Why I Decided to Stop Being a ‘Tough Girl’ and Just Be Me“, a thought-provoking piece on femininity.

I passionately disagree with it.

Let me break it down here.

In her post, Kat referenced this quote by actress Zoey Deschanel:

This idea- that women were or are pressured to be “men”- isn’t a new one. Plenty of folks have made the same observation and there is absolutely truth to that. In fact, we’ve even managed to turn it into a trope at this point, the “warrior-princess”. Continue reading

Why Men Need Feminism Too: On Shia LeBeouf’s Rape

A couple weeks ago I wrote a post about how quick we seem to disbelieve rape victims when they share their story. Specifically, I was referring to the Jian Ghomeshi case, when the fanbase actually increased after he was initially accused of sexual assault. People rushed to show their support on social media because they they believed that his accusers were lying.

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/10/30/jian-ghomeshi-facebook-followers_n_6072544.html

Although those fans were also very quick to jump ship when more and more women stepped forward to accuse Ghomeshi.

Recently, another claim of assault has sprung up in the media, and once again, some people seem quite sure that the victim made up his story in order to get attention.

In a recent interview with Dazed magazine, Shia LeBeouf said that during his #IAMSORRY event in February “one woman whipped [his] legs for ten minutes and then stripped [his] clothing and proceeded to rape [him].”

Continue reading

Shame Day: David Finch, Wonder Woman, and Feminism

This isn’t the first time the topic of feminism has cropped up on this blog, and it certainly isn’t going to be the last. While much of what we’ve written about it in the past concerns female characters and how they’re portrayed in the media or the various ways actual real-life women are viewed in today’s culture, the truth is that the biggest hindrance feminists everywhere [myself included] face is a painfully simple one. Far too many people have no idea what feminism is.

If you wanted to explore this further without leaving the blog, Gordon’s post “Why I Do Need Feminism” straight-up nails it. It’s essentially a response to images similar to the one on the right, which feature teenage girls holding up signs which underscore the fundamental misunderstanding they have of what feminism really is. If only there was some sort of go-to website that could provide a fairly clear-cut explanation . . . maybe even one that had the express purpose of defining words . . .

Dictionary.com’s first two definitions are as follows:

  1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
  2. sometimes initial capital letter an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

finchww That all sounds like something the average non-bigoted person could be down with. The above research literally took me less than ten seconds, which is why I find it unforgivable when people like comic book artist David Finch is quoted as saying, regarding Wonder Woman:

 “We want her to be a strong — I don’t want to say feminist, but a strong character. Beautiful, but strong.”

To provide a little context, David Finch and his wife Meredith Finch are going to be taking over the character’s self-titled book in November, with the latter covering writing duties. I want to focus as much as possible on his words here, and not his actual depictions of the character, an example of which you can see right above. Continue reading

Fame Day: Leslie Jones

Saturday Night Live is a very White show.

This isn’t news for almost anyone who has been watched the late night sketch comedy mainstay at any point in the last four decades. Still, this fact was made all the more apparent when they announced the six new cast members that would be coming aboard last September. In case you didn’t know, they amounted to five men and one woman, all Caucasian.

Given the fairly sizable [and reasonable] amount of outcry over this, Lorne Michaels and the powers that be ushered in Black comedian Sasheer Zamata. Given the speedy response to their complaints the internet quieted, content with SNL and how it was dealing with race for the time being. That ended, of course, this past Saturday.

While Zamata’s casting was lauded by many, something else occurred concurrently which was less publicized, though arguably just as important: LeKendra Tookes and Leslie Jones, both Black women, joined the show’s writing staff. Ideally such a move would help the show to broaden its comedic range given life experiences that differ vastly from that of a White person, male or female, living in the USA. That particular perspective was showcased front and centre when Leslie Jones made her on-camera debut during the most recent episode’s Weekend Update-

goodjobleslie

Watch the video here or here.

Continue reading

Why Writing Strong Female Characters Is[n’t] Hard

For the past several months I’ve been compiling what different people on the internet have been saying in regards to creating strong female characters, while also observing how others feel about those three words in general.
While not a topic you’d think would necessitate a lot of discussion, the truth is that there’s a lot more to this discussion than “Yes, I like them they’re great and we need to see more of them.”
As a disclaimer I would like state that I let the research in this post come to me. I did not do Google searches for “female writers’ opinions on strong female characters.” All of the quotes and articles below I found organically, if we can use that word to describe my internet browsing habits. Continue reading