Tag Archives: blog

The 3 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received in 3 Years of Marriage

I started writing for the blog a little before I got married. Around the time of my anniversary each year, I’ve written a post about my married experience. For my first anniversary I shared “4 Things I Didn’t Expect” (about marriage) and last year I gave you “4 Reasons Why Marriage is Worth the Risk (Even in the Age of Ashley Madison)“. This year I was thinking about what sort of married life wisdom I could share with you, and the only thing that came to mind was advice that older and wiser people had told me. So, as my third wedding anniversary approaches (next month) I’ve decided to share the three best pieces of advice I’ve received during my marriage.

1. Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)

I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to my relationships. I think that discussing an issue can allow you to unearth the deeper problem and talking things out can keep you from feeling resentment. By the time I got married I had also heard and/or read one piece of marriage advice over and over again: don’t go to bed angry.

I’m glad someone told me to cast that advice aside.

Instead, they suggested that sometimes we really should go to bed angry. Because sometimes, even the best of us want to strangle our partner for a reason that will seem pretty silly the next day. Often, by postponing that impulse to vent your irritation, you can avoid making an argument out of something that doesn’t really matter.

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The Internet and Mob Justice

On January 16th, a pet supply worker was fired for a racist tirade on a blog. On the 13th of the same month, Iron Mountain Daily News blacklisted a freelance writer after she was revealed using racial slurs. On the 11th of this month, a juvenile justice employ in Kentucky was fired for racist and violent postings on his Facebook wall.

Nothing surprising at first glance.

With ever-increasing social consciousness and public focus on modern-day racism in the past year, it’s nothing shocking that a person would be fired for getting caught making bigoted claims. Only these folks weren’t caught– they were exposed.

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Will Blogging Now Come Back to Haunt Me Later?

The short answer is yes. In many ways I don’t mind putting my thoughts out on the no man’s land we call the internet. I’m sure Foucault would have all kinds of things to say about the kind of surveillance we submit ourselves to as bloggers, but as an aspiring writer it’s unrealistic for me to remain entirely private if I want to build up my writing experience.

Using social media isn’t really all that different from being in a panopticon.

That being said, everything we put online is going to follow us for the rest of our lives. Yes, most of the time people just don’t care what my (or your) opinions are, so we can slather them all over any social media site with little to no consequences, but, then again, sometimes those opinions may come back to haunt us. This past month I started several blog posts only to put them aside for a variety of reasons. I hope to come back to them again at some point, but for this post I thought I would share a few of those reasons and why they make me think twice about what I share. Continue reading

Fame Day: Hyperbole and a Half and Depression

For Christmas my lovely sister-in-law gave me this book:

I then proceeded to read pretty well the whole book over the next few days. Some of my favorite stories focus on her childhood shenanigans, including the time she ate an entire cake,

and the time she thought dressing in a dinosaur costume gave her special powers-

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School Starting Means Less of Kat

So in case you hadn’t noticed I just finished taking a few weeks off to enjoy marital bliss. On August 31st John and I had a fantastic wedding which we owe pretty well entirely to our beloved friends and family who donated food, talents and time to make it all happen.

We then moved to Victoria, got set up in our little basement suite, and started school. It’s been a lot. A whole lot of wonderful, but a lot nonetheless. And looking at the amount of writing I already have for school has made me realize things might not be slowing down any time soon. So I’ve talked to the boys about cutting back with the blog this fall (hopefully to pick it up more regularly again over breaks and the summer). Starting next week I will only be posting once a week. That means I will be taking a hiatus from my Wednesday posts and only be posting a Fame or Shame Day article, depending on my rotation with the boys. I will also join them for Evan and Gordon talks on the week I have off from alternatively Faming and Shaming.

Don’t miss me too much. I promise I will be back posting on Wednesdays once I get out from under the weight of all this homework.

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Fame Day: Public Shaming

I was going to write about comics helping people, or about how a Swedish toy catalogue acknowledged that girls can play with Nerf guns too, but I ultimately decided to focus on a wonderful Tumblr account I found recently. It’s called Public Shaming, with the subtitle “Tweets of Privilege.” Creator Matt Binder sums up the gist of his blog with the following:

I started retweeting people complaining about welfare, food stamps, etc. and then following it up with a previous tweet of theirs that makes them look hypocritical/dumb/etc. I discovered that as I would retweet these, my followers would start @replying these people and let them know they were idiots. They would then delete their offending tweet. Well, I couldn’t let that happen. So, I screenshot away.

What Binder is very aware of is that Twitter is, by and large, a public forum. Anything that you tweet, unless your privacy settings are changed, can be read by anyone and everyone; my local Metro, and other newspapers around the world, have a section dedicated to them. This is something that people like Donald Trump often forget. As he mentions, once the tweets draw enough attention they are normally taken down. While this is unfortunate, screencaps serve to archive these tweets, and I’ve embedded a few for your viewing pleasure. The first two are a few of the more relevant ones, and the last is a wonderful showcase of hypocrisy:

I actually tried pretty hard to find a tweet without a bunch of profanity.

In response to Korean pop artist PSY closing the American Music Awards.

“WTF. WHEN DID AMERICA BECOME A SHOWCASE OF DIVERSITY?!” My personal favorite. -Matt Binder

Regarding a few Mexican high school marching bands and dancers marching in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Just one of the many, many tweet comparisons that highlight the plight of the privileged.

A lot of the “tweets of privilege” happen to be teens and twenty-somethings writing about employment and the economy. There’s a definite trend of people saying that the jobless are lazy, when only months before they were complaining about being unemployed. What Matt Binder is doing with his blog is exposing hypocrisy where it so often festers [the internet], while also helpfully reminding everyone out there to watch what they say. If you stick your foot in your mouth out loud, there’s a chance someone will hear it, but less that someone will actually record it. On the other hand, making a tweet in poor taste about someone’s dead brother online is really all it takes to get on the news. So let’s give a round of applause for this Tumblr and its creator, and for what it is on the internet: a shining light that unveils the words of the wealthy and unwise. You can follow Matt Binder on Twitter at, easily enough, @MattBinder.