Mrs. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
Washington, DC, 20500
Mrs. Obama,
It was a few weeks ago that I received an e-mail from a progressive group trying to whip up support for Hillary Clinton. Specifically, the text of the message read as follows:
BREAKING: New poll shows ONE-THIRD of voters ages 18-29 plan to vote for a third-party candidate
These “protest” votes will put Trump in the White House!
Image retrieved via correspondence sent by Progressive Turnout Project, fair use.
In the days that followed, Mrs. Obama, I’ve had a chance to consider your statement. And after much and truly earnest contemplation, I can only arrive at one single, solitary conclusion:
In spite of my nationality there’s very little I’ve been able to do to avoid news about the presidential nominees in our neighbour to the south. While Donald Trump hasn’t yet risen to the absurd heightsof celebritythat Obama did shortly after his inauguration, it’s more than fair to say that he’s been creating an indelible mark on pop culture for far longer, for better or for worse.
Given his general notoriety, especially of late, it’s not particularly surprising that comedian Elijah Daniel was compelled to pen what I’m going to generously dub a novella about the businessman. While he was originally inspired by a Huffington Post article surmising that Trump had paid off a secret gay lover [unavailable at the time of this writing], the truth is that there are sex scandals announced all of the time. No, there’s something particularly special about Donald John Trump. Something special enough to skyrocket Daniel’s ten page tale to the top of a handful of Amazon charts.
Now I don’t want to go too deeply into exactly how Trump Temptation was written, especially when you can see for yourself by checking out the author’s very own explanation on Twitter. Feel free to check that out before coming back to this review, because I’m about to dive headfirst into some LGBT erotica. Continue reading →
Today marks the start of voting in the Iowa Caucus, a crucial stage in the great and bloody pageant that is our Democratic process. And while the tallied results will doubtlessly dominate the news over the next days (until the New Hampshire caucus steals the spotlight) it should be remembered that, while important, the results are far from deterministic. Plenty of presidential hopefuls have won here only to ultimately lose the nomination. All of which is to simply say that we will not (I repeat, not) be making any foolhardy attempts at predicting the outcome here.
That’s not our job.
What we will be doing is- now that the dust has finally started to settle- is count up the casualties and figure out what the numbers say about us.
The Head & The Heartless
As of the writing of this post, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Senator Bernie Sanders are neck and neck for the hearts and minds of their devotees in the Hawkeye state. And that alone should be of note, seeing as how a year ago Hillary’s nomination was being treated as a given, with some even dubbing the primaries more of a “coronation” than a contest.
Which is probably less pleasing to some than others…
Why It’s A Good Thing:
Look, it’s no secret that yours truly is an avowed Leftist. And as such, I’m still not entirely certain what to make of Bernie Sanders. Part of me, of course, wants to like the guy. I do want to see Universal Healthcare, free higher education, drug legalization, and the like. I don’t want the massive, bloated, intrusive pseudo-socialism of Scandinavia. There’s a lot that goes into it, and maybe we can explore that another time, but for the here and now, I’m just happy that it’s a conversation we can even have.
If you had told me, just a couple years ago, that a self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist would have a significant chance at a major nomination and the presidency, I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet here we are, and for better or ill, we’re the people that have to deal with that. The issues of the working class, of income inequality, of the failures of run-of-the-mill liberalism- these have all found their way to the forefront of our national dialogue and they cannot be dismissed. Even if Sanders fails to clinch the nomination (and that’s still very up in the air), his supporters and sympathizers will certainly not go quietly into the night. From here on out the Democrats (and ostensibly, any major candidate) are going to have to address the increasingly vocal demands for a more equal society.
That, and I love that the eternally smug former Secretary-o’-State is being forced to actually work for this nomination.
What’s the first image that pops into your head when I say the word “refugee”?
For many, it will be that of displaced African villagers, perhaps with stomachs bloated from hunger, listlessly waiting in line for water in some desecrated wasteland.
For others, it might be more recent images: those of shivering, terrified Syrians, crammed into boats as they prepare to make a perilous voyage across the Mediterranean.
But how many would think of scenes like this?
No, that’s not the Balkans or Turkey or Darfour. That’s the Congregational Church of Austin in Texas, barely over a thousand miles from where I’m writing these very words.
The “American Immigration Crisis” has been quietly brewing since 2014, when a sudden surge of migrants- most of them young children– attempted to cross into the US from countries in Central America.
The response by many, as you can probably guess, was less than welcoming-
Across the Southwest (and the country at large), outrage was expressed over these “illegals”, the town of Murietta, CA perhaps serving as the best example. In July of 2014 buses carrying migrant families were protested in a manner that can only be described as repulsive- but I’ll let you watch for yourself and decide:
Well faithful readers, it’s a new year. While your ever-vigilant crew at Culture War Reporters has certainly enjoyed their break, time marches inexorably on and we’ve got some catching up to do. Why not kick things off with our favorite nemesis and all-around nutjob Don Lemon.
Who we can always rely on to bring us incisive and relevant info on today’s most pressing stories.
As dedicated readers will certainly recall, CNN anchor Don Lemon is not exactly a good person. Lemon represents everything wrong with the news today: ignorance to facts, obstinance in the face of correction, and glee in chasing whatever headline will pull in the ratings- and all from behind a facade of journalism. And certainly, there are plenty of folks in the media today who are notorious for each of these problems, but few manage the impressive feat of having all them at once, and definitely not with the reach and influence that Lemon has. The man’s the perfect storm of power, obliviousness, stubbornness, and ****y ethics, and yours truly has made a point of keeping an eye on him in the same way that you’d keep an eye on a typhoon brewing off the coast. And I’m sad to say that, no, it looks like Hurricane Don isn’t showing any signs of abating.
Sick of the repellent terror attacks in France, sick of the vile reaction many have had to it, sick of the endless cycle of violence, misinformation, and Islamophobia.
I’m also literally sick.
There will never, in the history of man, exist a better encapsulation of what it feels like to be sick.
And it is for that reason and that reason alone that you will be spared my inevitable torrent of righteous/self-righteous indignation- for this week, anyways. Buckle up, kids- next Monday we’re going to be ripping apart the following individuals with the kind of viciousness not typically seen outside of a Gareth Evans movie.